Simply because you can breathe, doesn't mean you're alive or that you really live.

A day in
the life 
of the 

common 

Freakasaurus 

Rex.

My wiener dog has this odd habit of using her two front legs to pull herself along the floor, its probably one of the cuter things you'll see in life. Its like she's pretending to be paraplegic. After we laughed at it this morning, my mother said that if the sensory function of her back extremities were lost, she'd not only buy her wheels, but a dog segway. WTF.

What's even cuter is my nutcase of a girlfriend. Because she's not just one nut, she's a whole case. One could say that she is composed of many-a-cashew. Apparently she is a cannibal too, for she enjoys eating cashews quite a bit. What a Freakasaurus. What a nutcase, actually. Sometimes she thinks she's silly things, like a starfruit, or a sparkler. But we all know that if she caught fire, she wouldn't sparkle, she would probably scream and roll on the floor.

This weekend I have to write a silly English project regarding a character from Lord of the Rings, and which songs would be found on their iPod. Sure, I chose the project out of around 8 other ones (they looked harder), but I still think this one's silly. It is a little known fact that during the Journey of the Fellowship, each member would pull out his iPod once in a while to let off some steam. Oftentimes, the Hobbits would sing jauntily to Country and Folk, and Gimli would bang his head to Classic Rock, and Legolas put the 'hip' in Hip Hop, and Gandalf and Aragorn got down with some disco. But my project is about Boromir. So far I have one, maybe two songs for him. Bleh.

Whatever, I'm going to a party tonight, where we'll see our much-missed Edmonton friend Jenny, and be scavengers outside in the snow and cold. Wooohooo! Awoooo!

Boss.

---> Homestar Runner <---

One of my favorite childhood sites that I secretly still visit.

... and frequently quote when only a very select few can make the link.

For Starters.

Want to know what really grinds my gears?

When somebody begins to recite a long story that you've already been enlightened by, and you politely interrupt to say that you've heard it before, but the story continues to be told as if you've said nothing. This is irritating enough as it is, but it becomes ever more irksome upon the addition of a few variables:

• a : The length of the story.
• b : The number of times you've heard the story.
• c : The monotony of the story-teller's voice.
• d : The lack of things in the room to distract you while you try to tune the story out.

What's even worse is the likelihood that I am hypocritical in this sense, and convey to my poor friends the same tales again and again, not knowing that they are actually more interested in a small chip on the wall behind me. But I would much rather whine and complain about other people who do this than try to fix it for myself.

Something I will never understand:

How a person can possibly go out by themselves for dinner, or a movie, or whatever the case may be. Its one thing to seek a bit of solitude, but to go out and be publicly alone at what is usually a social event, well, thats just a little worrisome. At every restaurant there is that one person who slumps over their dinner plate in silence as they eat their meal. Its easy to feel bad for such an individual. But Its also easy to point that person out to your mates and call him/her a loser, in which case you might feel bad for yourself later, because you're a horrible person who insists on making fun of lonely people. This evening I spied two such people, each at their own four-person booth, and the restaurant was nearly full. Could not these people hook up and kill two birds with one stone? They would not only eliminate their loneliness, but also free up a table for some other hungry soul!

And what's with people who stop to talk right in a freaking doorway? Sheesh!