Not even a wafer-thin mint.

"Good evening sir and how are we today?"
   "Better."
"Better?"
   "Better get a bucket. I'm gonna throw up."

So all around me I hear people complaining about this weather, but I just don't know... I have very mixed feelings about it. Sure, the roads suck dank and it's cold and rather impossible to get anywhere, but for some reason, when it started blizzarding during school on Friday I was just so inexplicably happy. And it's not like one of those "OMG I CAN SNOWBOARD NOW" kind of feelings, because I know I won't even be snowboarding much this season, or doing any sort of winter sport for that matter. It's bizarre because snow used to make me incredibly depressed, like scarily. like a "sit-in-my-room-for-the-whole-holiday-and-sulk" kind of feeling that wouldn't go away. But now that feeling is gone entirely. Maybe its just because I love my life so much right now that it made me feel happier to discover that snow couldn't bring down my spirits, or something queer like that. I dunno. But I even had lots of fun today doing some intense winter driving. My car doesn't handle snow or ice very well, so you have to be on your toes at all times. It's scary losing control, but it felt like I was riding a bull and it was awesome.

On to another really really interesting subject: How I read books! I just think it's funny, even though it's actually not funny at all. I mean, it's just reading for f sakes. Anyway. I will spend like a month reading in groups of like 3 pages per night and not really going anywhere. and then I will spend a solid half- or full-day reading and finish more than I had read over that month. Like my awesome mafia book; I had slowly read about 140 pages over 3 or 4 weeks, and then last night and this morning I read the last 165 pages. But it was great, there were surgical errors and knife/gun/shinbone fights and vicious aquarium sharks, lots of cursing and sexual references. You could say its a guy book. It was wicked cool.

I had a track meet today, but I didn't go for the 60m in the morning cause of the snow. Only went for the 300m in the afternoon. It was the Open Men age category, so I was racing basically all older guys except for Brandon Fong and some other dude. It was intense though, I got a huge PB, and I'm told I ran the fastest of everyone under 19 years old, so I'm happy. Not to mention I hurled 5 times afterwards and felt like I was about to lose consciousness for about 20 minutes. It was badass. Never doing it again. But it was badass.

Mope.

Le voyage à Edmonton a été annulé   :^[  Pour ceux qui parlent seulement anglai-- wait... For those who only speak english, that means the trip to edmonton has been cancelled. Apparently there was a big car crash on the highway due to the horrid weather. I was getting pumped, 'twas the first track meet of the year after all. In fact, I was heading out the door when my coach called. How lame.

And I was so flabbergasted at how warm it was the other day! I was waiting at the bus stop on the way home from choir, It was nearly 6:00, the sky was black save for the slightest tint of lighter blue on the horizon, and I was WARM. it was like 15 degrees. And now this. OH WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS!! Oh yeah, Climate Change. Kind of our fault.

I am in need of new headphones. Or maybe a new ipod. The sound it emits makes me think that somebody is rustling in the trees beside me sometimes. And I actually jumped because of it on that night I was warm. I was like oh my god there's a rapist in the trees! ...Yeah the sound is a lot better on different headphones actually, but its still there, grarr. GTFO of my headphones, rapists!


I was supposed to write something about Blake, because he's awesome. We've shared some great times. He's been there for me through the good and the bad, through tight clothes and tears, for the most influential times of my life. In French class we were stars. We sung many a song, and even adorned ourselves in spandex for one. We watched a sad japanese movie together titled 1 Litre of Tears. He took my place at Abe's track and field barbeque when I failed to show up. He accepted my MVP award in a beautiful speech... which he rapped. The bottom line is, Blake, that you are my friend for life. My often-questionable friend. Not meaning its questionable that you're my friend, but like. You know what I mean.

In other news, I think for Christmas my parents are buying me guitar lessons. Or singing lessons. Or both. Maybe just one, might not have time for both.

Oh, and I need to change the format of this blog so that it looks boring but people can comment.

/A\ > /B\

So there's this guy that A knows. Let's call him B. B is A's least favorite person on Earth. He's an arrogant, loud, conceited, in-your-face liar and everybody hates him but he is totally oblivious. Naturally, It makes A feel kind of awesome when A looks at B's facebook page and there is like nobody commenting on ANYTHING for weeks at a time. A feels that justice has been served accordingly. Fuckin' B.

Little did the road know, the chicken had double-crossed him.

the anthropologists answer to why the chicken crossed the road: to conduct an anthropological survey of the other-side-of-the-road culture which is vastly different than the chicken's own, allowing the chicken to better understand his/her own culture by introspective analysis.

-my cousin's old facebook status

It's funny how my computer doesn't think 'facebook' is a word yet.

One would think that 'facebook' would be added to every dictionary on earth, and pronto.

I mean, it only controls our LIVES.

I'd say its dictionary-worthy.

Will they continue to keep adding updates to really simple iPod applications such as checkers? Like, don't you think after a while their updates will run dry? How many freaking updates to checkers can you have?! There will be nothing left to  -- k I got bored and decided that topic was boring. 'scuse.

Umm.. track! I'm trying hurdles this year! It's kinda scary cause they're so high this year and I'm not-so-high! ... erm, tall. not-so-tall. It's been easy with the shorter ones in school track the past few years cause you basically run fast and lift your legs, there is no jumping action involved. But now I think the hurdles might be above my hip height when I'm running, soo yeah that'll feel funny. Likely going to have my first 60m hurdles race on December 5th, pretty excited.

I just remembered one of the more awesome moments of my life. So we were at my excruciatingly boring track club banquet, which lasted way too long. After Lyndsay and I made fun of numerous silent auction items and a truly inspirational quote, we had dinner and then there were a lot of speeches. During which, of course, my whole family is just squirming like crazy 'cause we're impatient and can't be quiet for more than half an hour to listen to people talk. S my grandmother, after she had fiddled with the salt spilled on the table for about 20 minutes, grabs her straw and pretends to snort the salt as if it were cocaine. HA. We were bored. I don't know why they have to make those banquets so dull. But how many 67-or-something-year-olds do you know that would do that?

So life's pretty rad. Sweeney Todd (the play) was great. The woman who played Mrs. Lovett kind of put Helena Bonham Carter to shame, and the play in general was a lot better than the movie in my opinion. And then there's the KISS concert, and they are just eternally and timelessly amazing. Explosions, Rock n' Roll, fire breathing, blood spitting, "flying," and sometimes-on-key singing make for an excellent experience. They sure can put on a show! I hope Lyndsay actually enjoyed it, but I'd never know if she didn't lol. WOW they are old to be rockin' on stage still. Gene is like 60, Paul is 57, and I don't know about Tommy Thayer or Eric Singer (the new guys). But I'm impressed, I only wish I could be so badass at that age. Probably I'll have sagging gross skin, no memory or hearing whatsoever, and like... no control over my tongue. Which is kind of like that already. When I'm weightlifting and my muscles are about to rip, the face I tend to make without thinking usually involves grunting, clenching my teeth, or involuntarily sticking my tongue out. I don't know how it happens. I suppose Gene Simmons must have the same problem, having a tongue as long as mine.

I also got to celebrate my year-and-a-half with Lyndsay recently, which was great  :^] I don't know what I would do without her. Who else would paint me pictures and T-Shirts and make me CDs and care for me and just love me all the time like she does? Nobody. Lyndsay, you should know by now that I'm you're #1 Fan and Unfriend, and I don't care if you are one cashew or a whole case, you're mine for good.

As an awesome side note, Nathan, Katrina, and myself might get to watch Hot Fuzz in english class while the rest of the class watches and studies V for Vendetta! not that I don't like V for Vendetta, its actually my favorite film of all time, but the three of us studied it last year in drama class and I've seen it at least a billion times. And Hot Fuzz is a hilarious movie.

I miss video games ... I miss my mom.

This is for Grayson, for being awesome. 

I have compiled just about every awesome Teen Girl Squad moment.

Those who aren't Grayson or myself will likely never understand.

Gift Exchange Lion!

 ..POSSUMMSSS...

I hope nobody cool or famous is watching me.

Mrs. Commander...son

Tomkin's Virtual Pet

Half-Digested Gazelle Carcass!

Floor Tommed!

4 GREGS

Due to a lack of interest, today has been canceled.

"So good, it tastes twice! 
Once in your mouth and once in your esophagus!"


Err.
Ever notice that you never hear mild, soothing music playing on people's iPods on full blast? Like when you're on the bus or the train, and there's that person down at the other end whose music you can hear, it's always a tune that's at least slightly annoying to some people, like techno, rap, metal, you know? I think some kind of formula could be made about this. Like...


The louder/more obtrusive the music is, the louder/more obtrusive the listener feels like they have to be.
or
The irritation caused by the music alone is proportional to the volume at which the music must be played.


Maybe those didn't make sense, but do you know what I'm getting at?
I'm not much better, I'm sure I annoy people with my loud music sometimes,
though I try my best to keep it down when I'm amidst a quiet crowd of people. 


So this week I get to spend doing cool stuff with my gal.
It's our year-and-a-half on saturday, don'tchya know.
So this past saturday we went to Banff to do the Winterstart run, where we didn't really run (and I'm okay with that),
and tomorrow we're going to see Sweeney Todd at the Pumphouse Theatre,
and the next day we're going to see KISS IN CONCERT. 
Lyndsay Gundeson, I hope you know that there's nothing to deter me from making you paint your whole face.
It's cruel to not paint your face when me and my entire family are doing it. 
They will scorn you for the rest of your life, probably, if you don't.


While I'm still awkwardly talking to you via blog, did you know that in Mr. Poirier's emails, you are listed as Lindsey Gubderseb  ??!?!? I'm not even kidding. Lindsey Gubderseb. That's a giant fail on Poirier's part. 


Off to school.


Let's think the unthinkable,
let's do the undoable,
let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, 
and see if we may not eff it after all.

Diagram.

“Eating One Battery”

                                                fig. 1

“Eating Five Batteries”

                                   fig. 2

Each breath we take makes us thieves

Still breathing.

If I could wager a guess, I'd say that when this picture was taken, I was thinking a little too hard about.... dairy. Or like.. alpaca farms, and the mirth they generate in a number of Earth's inhabitants. I was thinking about something off the charts weird for sure, though, cause this is one of my better photos, and they always happen when I am not really concentrating on the camera.

I recently fell asleep on my bedroom floor. That's a real rush. If you've never done it, give it a shot. It's the kind of thing you see in stories a lot, but don't actually get to do very often. I even had to wake up after a few hours because it was so intense. 

Know what I would secretly want to do sometimes, when I am at a pool or on the beach? Take my towel and clothes with me into the water so that nobody steals them. But I have never done that.

Well, I'm sick, and that sucks. My symptoms are minor right now, but they will probably be horrid before long, and they all scarily point to Swine Flu, otherwise known as "la Grippe Porcine!" While I'm making a reference to the French language, I've come to the realization that I don't know enough random vocabulary to survive a day amidst a French-speaking populace. Like, really. I'm very proud of my grammar and pronunciation (contrary to pronounciation), and yet my grammatical skill is rendered useless because I don't know the translation for words like 'ferret,' or 'tentacle,' or a number of important everyday words, which I could integrate into my sentence structure. In fact, I had forgotten completely what the word for 'leg' was, which I think is pretty influential on my day-to-day doings. I had been wondering about that word for what seems like 4 months, because I know I had learned it way back in the seventh grade or something, but I never bothered to look it up. We don't learn enough french in high school, we just write stupid stressful essays, and fill out meaningless sheets about some book with an obscure moral that we'll all forget within a few months. This may make me seem like a dull individual, but I would much rather have a series of worksheets on conjugation and semi-useful vocabulary. sigh.

I see no reason to not type the alphabet:

AaBbCcDdEeFfGgHhIiJjKkLlMmNnOoPpQqRrSsTtUuVvWwXxYyZz

Simply because you can breathe, doesn't mean you're alive or that you really live.

A day in
the life 
of the 

common 

Freakasaurus 

Rex.

My wiener dog has this odd habit of using her two front legs to pull herself along the floor, its probably one of the cuter things you'll see in life. Its like she's pretending to be paraplegic. After we laughed at it this morning, my mother said that if the sensory function of her back extremities were lost, she'd not only buy her wheels, but a dog segway. WTF.

What's even cuter is my nutcase of a girlfriend. Because she's not just one nut, she's a whole case. One could say that she is composed of many-a-cashew. Apparently she is a cannibal too, for she enjoys eating cashews quite a bit. What a Freakasaurus. What a nutcase, actually. Sometimes she thinks she's silly things, like a starfruit, or a sparkler. But we all know that if she caught fire, she wouldn't sparkle, she would probably scream and roll on the floor.

This weekend I have to write a silly English project regarding a character from Lord of the Rings, and which songs would be found on their iPod. Sure, I chose the project out of around 8 other ones (they looked harder), but I still think this one's silly. It is a little known fact that during the Journey of the Fellowship, each member would pull out his iPod once in a while to let off some steam. Oftentimes, the Hobbits would sing jauntily to Country and Folk, and Gimli would bang his head to Classic Rock, and Legolas put the 'hip' in Hip Hop, and Gandalf and Aragorn got down with some disco. But my project is about Boromir. So far I have one, maybe two songs for him. Bleh.

Whatever, I'm going to a party tonight, where we'll see our much-missed Edmonton friend Jenny, and be scavengers outside in the snow and cold. Wooohooo! Awoooo!

Boss.

---> Homestar Runner <---

One of my favorite childhood sites that I secretly still visit.

... and frequently quote when only a very select few can make the link.

For Starters.

Want to know what really grinds my gears?

When somebody begins to recite a long story that you've already been enlightened by, and you politely interrupt to say that you've heard it before, but the story continues to be told as if you've said nothing. This is irritating enough as it is, but it becomes ever more irksome upon the addition of a few variables:

• a : The length of the story.
• b : The number of times you've heard the story.
• c : The monotony of the story-teller's voice.
• d : The lack of things in the room to distract you while you try to tune the story out.

What's even worse is the likelihood that I am hypocritical in this sense, and convey to my poor friends the same tales again and again, not knowing that they are actually more interested in a small chip on the wall behind me. But I would much rather whine and complain about other people who do this than try to fix it for myself.

Something I will never understand:

How a person can possibly go out by themselves for dinner, or a movie, or whatever the case may be. Its one thing to seek a bit of solitude, but to go out and be publicly alone at what is usually a social event, well, thats just a little worrisome. At every restaurant there is that one person who slumps over their dinner plate in silence as they eat their meal. Its easy to feel bad for such an individual. But Its also easy to point that person out to your mates and call him/her a loser, in which case you might feel bad for yourself later, because you're a horrible person who insists on making fun of lonely people. This evening I spied two such people, each at their own four-person booth, and the restaurant was nearly full. Could not these people hook up and kill two birds with one stone? They would not only eliminate their loneliness, but also free up a table for some other hungry soul!

And what's with people who stop to talk right in a freaking doorway? Sheesh!